Chapter Four

God is Joy

Words of Wisdom

A Course In Miracles:
You are one Self with me, United with our Creator in this Self. I honor you because of what I am, And what He is, Who loves us both as ONE.

A Course In Miracles:
Everything you teach you are learning. Teach only love, and learn that love is yours and you are love.

A Course In Miracles:
"As you teach so will you learn" If that is true, and it is true indeed, do not forget that what you teach is teaching you.

Steps to Healing - Introduction

Being on the path of Self-Transcendence may cause for a person to spend some time on the path of healing, which is healing your psychology, healing your past inner wounds, and replacing false beliefs for true beliefs.

Why? because your Higher Self knows when you are on the path of Self-Transcendence, and it will bring to your conscious attention those areas in your life that needs healing.

Those areas, that your Higher Self will bring to your attention, are blocks that are keeping you from taking the higher steps on the path of Self-Transcendence, and as long as those blocks are there, you will eventually reach a point on your path where you will stagnant and won't be able to continue on until those blocks are removed from your life.

These blocks are formed when a person accepts false beliefs about themselves, which causes for a person to form their lives around those false beliefs, which are nothing more than lies.

The First Awakening

When a person has their first awakening to a false belief, it can have a major impact on a person, which can bring up in them emotional pain of feeling like they were deceived, maybe feeling stupid for believing in the lie. And possibly feeling angry, ashamed or maybe guilt for having accepted the false belief.

Which these feelings are ok to have when you are on the path of healing, because you need to Be who You are every step of the way, which is accepting yourself with the positives and the negatives. And as you continue to work on healing yourself, you will notice that the percentage of the positives and the negatives will change in you, but you still continue to Be who You are, no matter where you're at on your path of healing.

And so your Higher Self will continue to bring up in you those areas you need to heal from, but it will bring up those areas one at a time, which your Higher Self will know when you're ready and when you're not ready to work on those areas.

The outer you may not feel like you're ready to work on certain areas that come up, because some of those areas can be very painfull to deal with and heal from. But that is where you put your trust in your Higher Self to know that your Higher Self would not have brought to your awareness that specific area if you weren't ready to deal with it at inner levels. Personally, I knew this, but at times on my own path of healing, it felt like I was never going to get through certain areas that came up, but always that knowing that my Higher Self would not have brought those areas up if I wasn't ready for them at inner levels helped to keep me going on my path of healing, which there was a lot of bumps along the way, but I was determined to not give up no matter what areas of my life came up for me to deal with.

It took me a long time to finally figure out how to be able to heal the many different areas of my life that kept coming up for me to deal with and heal from. And at times, it seemed it was never going to end, because those areas would keep coming up, which let me know that I did not completely heal from them the first time around. And I tried very hard to heal from my past, but until you find the right path, a person just isn't going to heal no matter how badly they want to be healed.

Using the Violet Flame

After I turned 18, I started reading books from the I AM Activity, and I learned so much from the books. Which I also learned about the Violet Flame Decrees from the books as well. So, I started giving them every day believing that by giving the decrees, it would burn away all karma I had created from my past lifetimes and my present lifetime. I knew the Violet Flame decrees worked as I could feel the heat from it in my Being as I was giving the decrees. During that time, I believed that my I AM Presence would know where the Violet Flame needed to have been directed to, and in my mind that was what my I AM Presence was doing, so I never bothered with directing it.

When I was almost 35, I learned from a spiritual teacher that it wasn't my I AM Presence who directed the Violet Flame, but it was ME who needed to direct the Violet Flame into specific areas of my life. I learned that my I AM Presence, also known as our Higher Self, would help bring issues up in my life, so I would be conscious of these issues so when I would give Violet Flame Decrees, I would need to direct the Violet Flame into those specific issues I was having.

Mother Mary's Rosaries

It was also around that time, I had learned of Mother Mary's rosaries and that when you give the rosaries, you're also invoking the Violet Flame into specific areas of your life, which depends on what rosary you would be giving. Plus Mother Mary's rosaries are filled with positive affirmations. Which as I continued to give her rosaries, there were areas of my life that were coming up for me to work on healing from.

And so, every time I would give a rosary, I would continue to notice these emotions and feelings that I didn't like, but learned that they were suppressed from years before that were surfacing. I know it sounds like I'm painting a not so pretty picture of the path of healing, but for some people the path of healing isn't always as easy as it is for others. Which For me, it was difficult many times. Why? it's because I grew up in a very abusive home and occult church, which lasted for 18 years. During those years, I was not able to show emotions or let anyone know how I felt due to the abuse I would receive. I had also witnessed and experienced many horrors throughout my childhood. So, I learned at a very early age to cut myself off from feeling anything, because it would have just made living life that much worse.

When I turned 18 and became an adult I put all that stuff behind me and went on living my life, such as going to college, working, and dealing with the responsibilities that an adult has. But throughout it all, I was always very much interested in the spiritual side of Life, and I had a deep deep Love for God. I believe that Love I had for God helped me get through many childhood experiences and is what led me to finding the books from the I AM Activity and to the Violet Flame decrees. The timing of it was, to me, Divine Timing as I had just turned 18, left home and left the church, and then I find those books. I saw it very much as a blessing from above.

So, when those areas were coming up for me, it was very painful to deal with, because they came with emotions and feelings that I didn't know how to handle. Such as if something would make me angry, I would normally suppress that anger right away, which I learned that it was not good to suppress anger, so I tried to find a way to not suppress my anger, but without expressing it either. But how does a person do that when they are finally able to have feelings of anger about certain things, when anger is one of the top areas in ones life that needs to be transcended to not having any anger at all?

Well, I learned how, which took me a long time to figure out. I learned that when a person becomes angry, it's caused from when a person has an attachment to an expected outcome that does not go their way. Which if the person didn't have expectations or attachments to anything, nothing in this world will make a person angry. But at the time when I was new to the path of healing, I didn't know that, and so I would do my best on dealing with the feelings of anger that would surface at times, along with all the other painful feelings that were surfacing.

And so when I was working on my path of healing, it was a bit of a wacky time for me, because as I was giving the rosaries, I was also giving positive affirmations at the same time, while there were all these crazy suppressed feelings coming up in me of guilt, shame, self-hatred, worthlessness, resentment, sadness, depression, and God only knows what all other types of suppressed emotions were being felt in my Being. And it literally made for accepting the Positive Affirmations about myself a little difficult.

Many times, it felt like I was trying to force myself to believe that I was what the Affirmations were saying as I was giving the rosaries, and at the same time invoking the Violet Flame into these negative feelings that were being felt in my Being. But the feelings coming up in me were very painful emotions and the Rosaries were just bringing up in me more painful emotions to the surface then I could handle very well.

Never Give Up

So, I went searching for help in dealing with those feelings I was having and once I learned of the cause of where these feelings were coming from, it did not put my mind at ease, because I did not want to go to the core of where I had originally suppressed these feelings.

I wanted to be able to just give Mother Mary's rosaries and give the Violet Flame Decrees and hoped that by giving them, they would eradicate all those areas I did not want to deal with. But the more I resisted, the more things from my past would come up. And so, I accepted that for me to heal those areas of my life was to find a way to heal from my past, but How would I do that? A person needs to have money to go to counseling, which I couldn't afford. I had friends to talk to, but most would point out that it was just my ego, and that it was my ego that got hurt, so their advice was get rid of my ego and keep giving Mother Mary's Rosaries. There were many other things I was told of how to heal from my past, but to me it was just mind boggling of where people can come up with some of their ideas.

I looked for a counselor for a little over a year, which I had called lots of different counseling services for me to go to, but they were all so expensive. Then this one day I was thinking that there was no hope for me, and that I might as well just give up, but I didn't want to, as I kept remembering this vision I had of when I was with God and God told me to "See and Surrender". Which I wrote about that vision on The Returning page. But even with that vision, it felt like nothing much was coming from it, until this one day when my prayers were answered for me to go to counseling.

And so, I spent the next several months going to counseling and at a rate I could afford. And from that point on, my journey of healing really began to see results and fast healing results.

When I look back to when my journey of healing began, I can see how my I AM Presence brought those feelings up in me so I could eventually go to the core of where those feelings were coming from. But I took a lot of wrong turns when looking for help in healing from my past, but learning from mistakes is all part of our spiritual journey. But the one thing I did not do was actually give up and quit, which I wanted to many times as hope seemed to always be running out. But part of who I am is someone who has a lot of determination to keep going even when all odds were stacked against me.

For anyone out there, it is important to keep your faith up that when you're working to heal from different areas of your life, God or the Ascended Masters will help you when the time is right, which all you need to do is just be open to their guidance.

Throughout that time, I continued to give Mother Mary's rosaries, and I continued to use the tools from the spiritual tools page, and I put my faith in God and the Ascended Masters that they were always there guiding every healing session. Going to counseling didn't have very many pleasant sessions, but little by little, I surrendered my all to the sessions, and so I continued working, working, working until one day, I was Free from those feelings that had been coming up in me and I found myself, finally, at peace within myself. Even though there are still areas in my life that still come up for me to heal from, but they are nothing like they use to be, as I can work on those areas while having that inner peace.

When Using the steps to healing

I wanted to tell you about the path I took that finally led up to me being able to get help with my past that was coming up for me to heal from before going into the steps of healing, as I learned of the steps to healing before I began healing from my past. The problem of being able to heal yourself using the steps to healing was being able to go to the core issues of the experiences one may have had that can bring up a lot of emotional pain. Which no one I knew during all that time knew how either, other than giving Mother Mary's rosaries. And I was hoping that giving the rosaries would have been enough as well.

And so this is how you use the steps of healing that you'll learn about in this chapter. And that is you will want to combine the steps to healing. While using the spiritual tools. While giving the Violet Flame decrees and Mother Mary's rosaries. While you are able to find someone who you can trust to talk to that cares about you and understands that you are working to heal from certain areas of your life. And that, you are on the path of healing.

Each step is broken down into understanding how each step works, and how the steps builds to more steps that will take a person to complete healing in each area they are seeking healing in when being on the path of Self-Transcendence.

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